Heartless

Another Post!!!

Wasn't sure if I really should write this post after a long time, but yes decided to as I didn't get no sleep because my head is busy making decisions and was busy thinking all night long. Bloging makes me feel better so I'm just going to do it !

I don't know if its only me who feels like this but I actually hate this side of me I can be so careless and heartless that I end up hurting and uspeting people! Yes these are the people that care the most about me, who are always there for me. Is a big problem but I can't change I just hate showing my soft side no matter if its just saying I love you or seen someone cry on front of me! I always have to fight this feeling deep inside I'm fighting with my feelings. They are telling me to just go ahead and show how I care but my body wouldn't do it!

I don't show it then at night it eats me inside because I know it was wrong I push people away obiously at times I can be nice but most of the time I jjust can't do it feels so hard. :/
I'm making a big mistake because life is way too short, I don't want tto regret after, I just simply have to learn how to show my feelings and understand that theres nothing wrong with that!
I can only blame my past for this because I learned not to show too much and not to give away alot of love because I know I would end up getting hurt, I believe as a girl you sometimes have to hide your soft side but it's cool to show it to your loved once which I can't :/ But from this time on I promise my self to change because I need this big change in my life in order to keep positive!